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Oh my dear how boring

He’s defecting

Just like all the others

He’s expecting

Us to be impressed with what he’s done here

But he

Hasn’t stopped to think about the paperwork

His gesture causes

We’ve an embassy to run here

If these people can’t strike

Blows for freedom

With a valid visa

We don’t need ’em

If we seem offhand then please remember

This is nothing very special

He’s the fourth we’ve had since last November

Who do these foreign chappies think they are?

And when he’s safely in the West

He’ll be the hero to discuss

The media will lionise him

Fame and fortune plus

No-one will recall it’s

Thanks to us

Have you an appointment

With the consul?

If you don’t we know what his


Be, he will not see you, with respect it

Buggers up his very taxing schedule

Pushing peace and understanding

Let us hope this won’t affect it

Far too many jokers

Cross the border

Not a single document

In order

Russia must be empty

Though we’re all for

Basic human rights it makes you wonder

What they built the Berlin wall for

Who do these foreign chappies think they are?

And when you’ve filled in all the forms

And been passed clear of all disease

Debriefed debugged dedrugged disarmed

And disinfected please

Don’t forget the guys

Who cut your keys